Behind the Smile: The Diary of an Ordinary Woman
Cover Blurb
Whilst fundamentally a memoir, this book is essentially a message of hope. It initially looks back at historical abuse and the impact that it has had on my own life and health. I look back at the life events that have shaped me, the early years of abuse and my eventual rebellion; leading onto my young adult years when my trust was eroded, to my eventual decision to completely change my life and how that brought me to where I am today, I also explore recent studies that have linked childhood abuse and trauma to later life illnesses (Adverse Childhood Experiences), and how, in particular, it could be connected to the immune system, this is the story of my journey through abuse and how I survived and came out the other side stronger and more determined to make a difference. My wish is that by sharing my story it could help others not to give up, not to settle and to believe in their dreams and perhaps it will even become a part of their own survival guide.
Throughout the book I weave some of my friendships and make a dedication to some of the special women in my life. Friendships have always been very important to me, and I think it brings the whole story together. Amidst all the mainstream pain and suffering in the world today, I believe that the little stories of everyday people that overcome adversity are a win for mankind.
Other Titles By the Author
Janet Gilson
Author Bio
I live in Malta with my husband, and I am both a mother and grandmother. Originally from the UK, I moved to Malta when I met and married my Maltese husband over thirty years ago. I studied psychology and obtained a certificate in counselling, intrigued by how the human mind works and how people recover from trauma.
After taking early retirement, I now use my time doing something I love – writing. I hope that by sharing my life stories, I might help others who have faced similar experiences. When I’m not writing, you will find me spending time with my family, the most important thing in my life. I also love to travel, believing that this in itself is an education.
I support several charities, and a portion of any profits from my books is donated to charity. I want to make a difference wherever I can. I am the author of three books to date – Behind the Smile, Letters to Ian, and Pensioners Behaving Badly! And have collaborated on three other publications.
“Your story will become someone else’s survival guide.”
The Book Tour
Day 1 - Favourite Quotes
Day 2 - Character Summaries
Janet Gilson chose to tell her story through flashbacks seen whilst undergoing regression therapy. She is honest about her reasons for doing this, and the pain and anguish of the multiple abuse episodes in her life pull the reader into the story. However, she doesn’t leave us depressed, or even feeling sorry for what she has been through. Instead, there is a message of hope, of forgiveness, that shines through the darkness. She invites any who have experienced similar traumatic events to do their own soul-searching, to find the will to forgive, not only the perpetrator, but also themselves. Why themselves? What does a victim do that needs forgiving? Any survivor will know that, deep down, they blame themselves for what happened. Janet shows us that while this is normal, we are not to blame, and we should forgive ourselves for the heartache we have caused ourselves by this misbelief. Janet is passionate in retelling her story, not only to give herself relief, but to help anyone else who has been, or is still in the midst of, some form of abusive relationship, to heal and become whole again. (Phoebe Wilby)
Janet has a warm and friendly tone all throughout the book as if she were having a conversation with you; an intimate sharing of her diary. She doesn’t pretend to be an expert on any subject but rather shares her experience about specific topics hoping that they’ll inspire you to do more research (like fibromyalgia, or the effects of childhood abuse on physical health long-term). Yes, the passion about those topics shone through in the book. We get a mix of narration and more clinical research depending on the topics but it all folds together nicely to enhance her message. (Sophie Jupillat Posey)
Janet’s message to keep trying no matter what life throws at you, is always one that is worth reiterating. She has written this book with a personal flair, naturally, but it is neither too personal nor boring because of too much detail. Overall, it’s a book written with passion and enthusiasm. (Yvonne Marrs)
Day 3 - Favourite Excerpts
“I was about to try regression therapy via hypnosis. Sitting with a therapist and trying to go back in time, I was attempting to remove some blocks in my life and recover from early life trauma. This, I thought, could take some time, and would it work? However, it was worth trying, I reasoned with myself.” (Phoebe Wilby)
“I have had an array of jobs over the years, and after coming to Malta I was a secretary once again. I did flower arranging as gifts and for weddings and events, became a Tupperware salesperson, was a TEFL teacher and ‘as previously mentioned’ we also opened our home and acted as a host family for foreign students. So I do feel that I did my part, but it also gave me a wealth of life experience and working in Malta also gave me an overall insight into the Maltese psyche.” (Sophie Jupillat Posey)
There will be difficulties, but if you don't have some lows, how can you appreciate the highs (Yvonne Marrs)
Day 4 - Video Interview
Day 5 - Reviews
Overall Star Rating: 4.5 stars. Sometimes, the most ordinary lives produce the most extraordinary stories and breaking the cycle of abuse has to be the most extraordinary story of them all. Janet Gilson takes us on a journey through her life, touching on the events in her life that could have left a lesser woman scarred. However, by taking the step to work through therapy, she has paved her way to healing, and has graciously taken us along for the ride. Janet tells her story in snippets of events unveiled by her therapy sessions. Each chapter deals with a specific event, and she concludes each by writing a letter to her abuser, or a significant person of the event, culminating in an open letter to anyone who has suffered abuse. Janet’s message is that you don’t have to suffer alone. There is always someone there for you, if you will open your heart and ask. While you can’t change the past, you can change how you react to it, your attitude, your own healing. I suspect writing this book aided in Janet’s healing as much as it can aid in someone else’s healing. Although this could be triggering for some, I believe that if they will use this as the first step to seeking therapeutic help from a professional, even the most triggered can benefit from Janet’s words and experiences in this book. (Phoebe Wilby)
Overall Star Rating: 4.5 stars. This book is essentially a memoir about Janet’s life. It begins with Janet’s voice as an adult, reminiscing about her past and what led her to dive deep into it. We get a series of flashbacks between past and present, structured with personal letters at the end of each chapter. Each chapter is solid and shows an event or several events that helped shape her life. The breadth of her experience and ensuing life lessons was diverse and vast and that lent that cozy, intimate voice that accompanies us throughout the book. The tone and message of the book is clear from start to finish. Her goal is to inspire and inform; hoping her experiences will make people feel supported and less alone especially with topics like abuse or chronic illness. It is also cathartic for her to realize this project as she states herself. The only nit pick I had was with the ending, which felt scattered and broke the structure established throughout the book; too many ideas stuffed in the end. I also wanted more depth to certain sections, and over chapters some messages were repeated a little too often. But all in all, this is an interesting memoir with heart and grit. (Sophie Jupillat Posey)
Overall Star Rating: 4.5 stars. Behind the Smile is an apt title for a book of this genre, and something that a lot of people can relate to. We still have the ‘hide behind mask’s delicate balance of our lives. Our family and friends play an important role in our lives - and how our destiny is shaped. Janet tells us how this has been the case for her. Anyone who likes human interest stories will identify with this book and enjoy it. Even a reader of general reading tastes I believe would enjoy it. Janet's book is a looking back memoir type book, so dialogue plays a different part in the overall story. The writer's voice is clear, and the smooth pace makes this an enjoyable read. (Yvonne Marrs)
Book Tour Reviewers
